You know, a lull. When you have been busy for weeks and weeks, dashing around looking terribly popular and busy with a full diary and an empty fridge and then
Suddenly, you are invited nowhere. The phone stops ringing and buzzing. No matter how many times you refresh Facebook, no new invitation appears.
I. Do. Not. Like. It.
I am a girl who likes a bit of action. A bit of to and fro. A LOT of coming and going. The old cut and thrust. Well as much cut and thrust as you can get in the countryside – sort of more, dab and poke I guess.
So this lull – well, I don’t mind telling you, it’s killing me.
A lull: it’s like ‘dull’, only a noun. You see, that’s how bored I am. I am making bad puns and one should never be bored enough to make puns, not even in the country.
When you are busy, you see, you have plenty of excuses for not doing the tedious chores you don’t really want to do. But when your calendar clears, there are no more excuses for not doing the washing up. Dealing with that big pile of unanswered post. Maybe even writing those thank you letter for last year’s Christmas presents? It’s never too late to say thank you, after all.
This weekend, the lull was so very very dull that I was even reduced to tidying up the kitchen. By tidying up I mean, of course, picking up all the stuff hanging about in the kitchen and shoving it into already-full-to-bursting cupboards, before shutting the door very quickly and firmly. And, when all the cupboards were full, sticking the rest under the bed and behind the sofa. This is an unconventional method, I would admit, but one that has worked well for me for many years, or at least until the Enviromental Health caught up with me that time.
And then when you have faced the sheer horror of the realisation that you have left undone those things which you ought to have done, and there is no health in you….
Well, then comes the guilt. The sudden remembrance of dear friends, horribly neglected. Old Ladies unvisited. Somewhat regrettable conversations that ended abruptly some months ago and never quite resolved. The half-read book-group book by the bed (and book-group looming, always looming).
(The other day I had to come out of my local branch of Waterstones because I was starting to hyperventilate at the sight of all the books I had not read, and surely would NEVER have time to read BEFORE I DIED. BOOK PANIC – a new low even for me.)
The truth is, my life is just a series of dangling threads and frayed edges, like a badly cast off piece of knitting.
I am very much hoping that I am describing a common, if not quite a universal experience here. I am hoping that you all have a to-do list that run into several volumes. Post it notes, curling at the edges, scattered about the house, palely trying to catch your attention with their key bits of information.
I am hoping that it isn’t just me that can’t quite keep up with the pace of modern life. Not just me that lives life with a permanent, nagging feeling that she has just missed something VERY crucial. That a deadline has just whizzed past with Terrible Consequences. That Important Emails are sitting in that overloaded inbox, and I can’t see them because some days even thinking about my spilling email inbox(es) can result in the need for a lie down under a blanket in a dark room for a bit.
So, usually, rather than try and keep up with all the things I OUGHT to do, I distract myself. I do the bare minimum to keep my head above water, then reward myself by lying down somewhere I can’t see the mess and reading for a couple of hours. (Not the book-group book, of course. Another one entirely.)
But LO! I have a new tactic, for getting through this lull and avoiding the Leaning Tower of Post-and-Ironing until Something Interesting Happens to distract me.
Yes! I can blog! The fact that nothing at all is happening, that my life is so crashingly dull that I even read the parish magazine today – well that won’t deter me. Not when there’s a real risk that I might otherwise have to do some housework.
So, this is an apology I guess, to all those who have to put up with my twitchiness until this Lull passes. For all those who are still waiting for those thank you letters (they’re in the post and honestly, it’s a lovely present! I may be slack, but I am grateful, really.)
Seriously, find me something to do.
And make it soon. Because right now I am contemplating joining the Flower Rota. And we all know that won’t end well.